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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755009">How Did You Meet? Oh, He Stabbed Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_Crime_Angels/pseuds/Gay_Crime_Angels'>Gay_Crime_Angels</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Based on a Tumblr Post, Castiel is human, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Pining, but only cuz he lost his grace, dean winchester is a feminist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:14:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_Crime_Angels/pseuds/Gay_Crime_Angels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You guys are such a cute couple! How did you meet?”</p>
<p>Dean’s mouth is full of delicious pie so he can’t respond to explain the situation, but Cas responds quickly.</p>
<p>“Dean stabbed me in the chest.”</p>
<p>The waitress’s eyes widen in shock and Cas continues.</p>
<p>“He also shot me a few times.”</p>
<p>Dean finally managed to swallow most of his mouthful of food, but the damage was already done.</p>
<p>“Cas,” he said, choosing to stare at him instead of coming up with an explanation. </p>
<p>“What?” Dean looks at him more intently, “Oh.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Based on a Tumblr Post</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How Did You Meet? Oh, He Stabbed Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on a Tumblr post that I found on Pinterest.  https://www.pinterest.it/pin/781093129119776805/</p>
<p>I hope that you enjoy this, it was fun to write.</p>
<p>Please leave literally ANY feedback or comments because I strive on feedback/comments/validation. Even if you just say 'hi', I would appreciate it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean, Sam, and Cas had just finished an easy hunt and were sitting in a diner that advertised good bacon cheeseburgers and good pie. It was a paradise for Dean, who was hungry after the hunt. </p>
<p>Sam, his big oaf of a brother, took up a lot of space, so he got one side of their booth to himself. Dean and Cas had to squeeze together on the other side. Not that he was complaining, Dean would take any opportunity to be close to the angel. It was helpful that Cas had no concept of personal space. He pretended to complain, but he was secretly excited by the contact. </p>
<p>Cas was shifting in his seat as he settled down and his elbow kept bumping into Dean.</p>
<p>“Watch your elbows, Cas!” Dean hissed angrily after getting poked in the ribs a few times too many.</p>
<p>The angel whispered a quiet, “Sorry, Dean.” and stopped wiggling, lowering his head.  </p>
<p>Immediately, he felt bad for his outburst. “Sorry, Cas. I’m just hungry.”</p>
<p>Cas nodded in understanding and smiled at Dean.</p>
<p>They ordered their drinks and looked at the menu for what to order. He chose the bacon cheeseburger, obviously, and Sam got some lame salad, the freak.</p>
<p>Cas was struggling to decide on what to order because he was new to the wonderful experience that was eating food.</p>
<p>When the waitress came to their table with the drinks, plain old water for Sam (lame), coffee for Dean (he needed caffeine), and tea for Cas, she asked what they wanted to order. Sam ordered his boring ass salad, Dean ordered their “famous bacon cheeseburger” and their waiter nodded with a smile. She turned to Cas, “What would you like to order, hun?” </p>
<p>“Ummm...I don’t know” </p>
<p>Dean leaned over even further into Cas’s personal space to look at the menu. He and Cas spoke in hushed whispers about what Cas would like. </p>
<p>“Do they have peanut butter and jelly?” </p>
<p>“No, Sorry Cas. How about grilled cheese?”</p>
<p>“I would prefer something else..” </p>
<p>“I can order for you, I know what you like.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Dean” </p>
<p>“Ok, my devastatingly handsome friend here will have a bacon cheeseburger, same as me.”</p>
<p>“Anything else?” The waitress smiled.</p>
<p>“No thanks.”</p>
<p>They sat and talked while they waited for their food. They talked about all sorts of things, like their latest hunt, what they would do when they got back to the bunker, and what movie they would watch once they were home.</p>
<p>Soon the waitress brought their food and Dean’s mouth watered at the smell of his burger.</p>
<p>They enjoyed their meals and Dean struggled to keep his composure as Cas moaned in pleasure at the taste of his food. </p>
<p>Once they were finished, the waitress came back to their table “Can I get you anything else?”  </p>
<p>Before they could say anything, a rude customer at another table stood up and tapped the waitress on the shoulder demanding that the waitress “give him the check right this instant”. </p>
<p>She apologized to them as she was physically dragged away by the arm to help the man.</p>
<p>They shrugged and restarted their earlier conversation. When they heard the man say that he was “Not leaving a tip because real men don’t tip,” Dean stood up in anger.</p>
<p>Dean angrily stalked over to the guy. “Hey, she is being a great server, why don’t you tip like a gentleman?” </p>
<p>“I’m not leaving nothin’. It’s a woman’s job to serve a man, she ain’t doin’ anything extra.”</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t have said that, dickwad. Now give the nice lady a tip for her work, or we are going to have a problem.”</p>
<p>“I ain't afraid of you,” the man says, suddenly throwing a punch and hitting Dean in the face, catching him by surprise.</p>
<p>Dean growled and tackled the man, slamming him into a table.</p>
<p>“Dean.” Cas’s voice distracts Dean and he felt himself get punched in the nose. Before he has a chance to retaliate, Sam grabs him and shoves him into Cas. </p>
<p>Sam steps forward and takes the man by the collar of his shirt, easily lifting him off the ground. Sam walks the other man to the door, subtly reveals his gun and the man takes off running.</p>
<p>Cas begins fussing over Dean who wiggles to escape his grip. Once free, he moves to comfort the waitress who is silently crying. </p>
<p>“Hey, hey It’s ok.” he pulls out his wallet and hands the waitress a $50 that was inside. “This should cover that asshole’s tip, I believe.”</p>
<p>The waitress giggled and thanked him.</p>
<p>Sam, Cas, and Dean sat back down and Cas started fussing over him once again.</p>
<p>“Cas, i’m fine. It’s just a broken nose and maybe a bruised jaw.”</p>
<p>“I wish that I was able to heal you, Dean.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine, Cas.”</p>
<p>The waitress came back with some pie, “as a thank you.” </p>
<p>Dean takes a bite of his pie and slightly winces at the pain in his jaw but groans in happiness at the explosion of flavor. </p>
<p>Cas turns to him worried, beginning to fuss over him again when the waitress coos at the sight.</p>
<p>“You guys are such a cute couple! How did you meet?”</p>
<p>Dean’s mouth is full of delicious pie so he can’t respond to explain the situation, but Cas responds quickly.</p>
<p>“Dean stabbed me in the chest.”</p>
<p>The waitress’s eyes widen in shock and Cas continues.</p>
<p>“He also shot me a few times.”</p>
<p>Dean finally managed to swallow most of his mouthful of food, but the damage was already done.</p>
<p>“Cas,” he said, choosing to stare at him instead of coming up with an explanation. </p>
<p>“What?” Dean looks at him more intently, “Oh.”</p>
<p>Sam quickly covers for them after noticing Dean and Cas are having a stare-down and aren’t going to do it themselves. </p>
<p>“Sorry, they are talking about a video game we play. They met through the game.”</p>
<p>Cas starts to say something but Dean claps his hand over his mouth.</p>
<p>The waitress smiles in relief and tells them to enjoy their pie.</p>
<p>He sighs in relief that Sam was able to think of something quickly. Sam laughs at his sigh, the jerk, and Cas continues to fuss over him. He enjoys his pie and makes sure to leave a big tip.</p>
<p>As they are walking out, he hears Sam say his name. “Hey, I have to go to the bathroom,” Sam said, gesturing behind him, “You guys can wait in the car.”</p>
<p>“Whatever, Sammy,” Dean said as he walked outside, Cas holding the door open for him.</p>
<p>When they get settled in the Impala, he turns to look at Cas.</p>
<p>“You know, she thought that we were a couple.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” </p>
<p>“Yeah.” He paused, “Why do people always think that?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>His brain must be malfunctioning because he suddenly blurts out “I mean, I wouldn’t mind if...” He quickly cut himself off, blushing profusely as he realized what he said. </p>
<p>“Seriously?” Cas looked up in surprise, hope in his voice.</p>
<p>“Um… yeah. I’ve liked you for a while.” He said rubbing the back of his head nervously.</p>
<p>“So have I”</p>
<p>“Really?” he asked incredulously. Because who could possibly want to date him? With all of his problems, emotional baggage, and the way he constantly puts himself in danger. It just didn’t seem possible.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Oh..” he trailed off, at a loss for words.</p>
<p>“Come here, Dean” Cas said softly after what looked like a moment of contemplation.</p>
<p>“Okay?” He asked, climbing into the back seat so he could be closer to him.</p>
<p>Cas slowly cupped his face and he leaned into the soft touch almost immediately. </p>
<p>Looking up to meet Cas’ eyes made him once again realize how blue they were. They were sparkling in the dim, evening light, and they were the most beautiful shade of blue that Dean had ever seen in his life. </p>
<p>His breath hitched when he caught Cas glance down to look at his lips. Before he could stop himself, he subconsciously licked them.  </p>
<p>“Fuck it,” Cas said, leaning in, and damn it was hot to hear the angel curse. </p>
<p>Before Dean had enough time to think about just how hot it was to hear an angel say ‘fuck’, Cas was kissing him. CAS WAS KISSING HIM. </p>
<p>The feeling of Cas’ slightly chapped lips pressed against his own was amazing and he quickly kissed back, happy to finally be kissing Cas after pining for years. He had been waiting for this moment for years and finally, it was happening. Their lips slotted together in a way that made Dean feel like he was made for the sole purpose of kissing Cas.</p>
<p>Soon, he was on top of Cas as their kiss deepened into something more passionate. </p>
<p>Each kiss seemed to last until they could no longer breathe, but every moment they were not kissing was considered a momentary waste of time, so he continued to kiss Cas senseless in the backseat. </p>
<p>Sam walked out of the bathroom to find them making out in the back seat. “Finally,” Sam smiled softly as he slid into the driver's seat and began the drive home. </p>
<p>Cas and Dean were too otherwise occupied to notice that they were even moving.</p>
<p>And if, when they got home, they went immediately to Dean’s room, well, nobody else had to know. </p>
<p>And if Sam immediately pulled out his laptop to order noise-canceling headphones off of Amazon, well, Dean and Cas were none the wiser.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope that you enjoyed this, please feel free to leave kudos and comments/feedback.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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